Making Friends with Parents

What is a coach’s job. That’s a bit of an age old question. Is it to make friends with the parents and to keep them happy, or is it, above all else, to turn players into the best possible players they can, be parents and their opinions be damned? Most modern coaches would agree that it’s a little bit of both.

First things first, as a coach, you have to understand that, unfortunately, the vast majority of parents, no matter what they tell you, is concerned with winning. As a good coach, however, that shouldn’t be your focus. Your focus should be on building strong individual players, and, inherently, a strong team. That in and of itself will usually eventually lead to consistent wins, but it does sometimes mean dealing with criticism along the way. Once the parents realize you truly do have their kids’ best interests at heart, however, you should be okay.    

You can’t really expect parents to know and understand your strategies, however, if you aren’t communicating with them. Some new coaches require parents to take an online course in their strategies and methods so that the parents understand the reasons behind their choices. Those who do not are free to sign their kids up elsewhere. You can take this route, or more realistically, you can just foster good, open communication from the start.

From the start is really a key phrase though. From the get-go, it’s your job, as a coach, to know your philosophies and strategies and to let parents and players in on them too. That’s not to say that you won’t learn and change as you grow, but the basic tenants of your coaching beliefs should not change. Just make an effort to reveal who you are and what you believe from the start in order to give those who don’t support you a chance to walk away. If they do, what you will be left with, ultimately, is a chance to work with those who support and believe in your philosophies, and when you have that, you have a good chance at a winning team.